Tweets by @wombstretcha503
I once killed a man for asking me to help him commit suicide.

view older → ← view newer

Diagnosis: Hulkamania

Coming this fall, a downtown hospital has trouble with an overload of new patients, so they hire the only man who can get it all done: Dr. Terrence Hogan. Watch as he impresses patients and staff alik...

Posted: Aug. 12, 2014

Relative Units of Measure

In case anyone needs clarification on the "new school" of relative units of measure, I happen to have made a handy chart. Clickity for full-size....

Posted: Jul. 30, 2014

The Great Ant Struggle

In 2014, there was a war going on in my kitchen. Thousands would fight, thousands would die. What can one man do against such reckless hunger?

Well, the Great Ant Struggle was eventually resolved b...

Posted: Jul. 03, 2014

Buttsex Island

From the masters of anus-friction-related horror, comes a story of what happens when the guy from Growing Pains (not Kirk Cameron) gets trapped on an island full of cannibals who like it in the dumper...

Posted: Jul. 01, 2014

Kill Bill Cosby

Grievously wronged by an evil pudding company, one sweater-wearing ninja takes on entire armies, and skilled assassins, just to get his chocolatey-sweet revenge. Coming this summer to a theater near y...

Posted: Jun. 30, 2014

Impossible Sausage

This winter, four friends discover an abandoned bratwurst museum behind a popular shopping mall, and end up being forced to somehow eat a full serving of sausage with some kind of crazy bullshit locke...

Posted: Jun. 20, 2014

Bumper Sticker Guide #2

Bumper sticker analysis: THE REVENGE!
Part 2 of until people stop pissing me off.
Part 1 can be found here, in case you missed it....

Posted: Jun. 19, 2014

PiƱa Kill-ada

When good drinks go bad.
Spending time on the beach with your favorite cocktail seemed like a good idea for five eager friends, but when they start dying in festive, tropical ways, the race is on to ...

Posted: Jun. 18, 2014

Booty. Booty! BOOTY!

Yes, I keep telling myself I'll stop making loops, but sometimes it's necessary, damnit!

In this particular case, I feel the world might need a clip espousing the glory of a quantity of booty. Ther...

Posted: May. 28, 2014

Keep on top of Tumblr

So, you're busy, and always on the go, but you love to be up on the latest social justice trends on Tumblr.

Just one problem: there are SO MANY to keep track of that it would take all day to find e...

Posted: May. 28, 2014

view older → ← view newer

© 2005 - 2017