Tweets by @wombstretcha503
She blinded me with science, but I broke her leg with ignorance.

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Women's Magazines

Yeah, everyone's read one of these, be it voluntarily, or incidentally at a dentist's office or at the hairsmith. I swear, every issue has something about thumbing buttholes. I'm not sure who the peop...

Posted: Mar. 22, 2015

Help! My nanny is...

Now this, THIS is what I call revolutionary television programming. I'm gonna be riveted to my seat all season....

Posted: Mar. 21, 2015

GALLERY: Bumper Stickers

Here are my bumper sticker ideas.

Click to see em!
Comment/like to VOTE for which gets printed.

The one with the most over the next few weeks will be printed and PUT UP FOR SALE...

Posted: Mar. 06, 2015

50 Shades of Cent

So, apparently this upcoming movie has everyone super stoked. It's apparently about a rapper from New York who grew up on the mean streets before finding his true love: bondage play.

It's truly hea...

Posted: Feb. 09, 2015

Thrift Store Item Guide

You ever been at a secondhand or thrift store, and are wondering about the viability of the items available for purchase?

Well, I've made a handy-dandy chart to let you know perhaps some of the ups...

Posted: Feb. 07, 2015

B-33 Weapon System

Presenting the latest in cutting-edge anti-personnel weaponry. The B-33 is the latest in Wombtech Defense Research's line of insect-related war implements.

The B-33 is suitable to any number of env...

Posted: Feb. 03, 2015

Creamed Corn

We all know that this particular foodstuff was invented specifically to provide entertainment for your gastro-intestinal tract.

Not just any entertainment, it's a damn THRILL RIDE for your shit chu...

Posted: Jan. 24, 2015

Martin Luther King Kong

This Martin Luther King Jr. day, see the carnage as a giant ape rampages through an unsuspecting, defenseless city. The townsfolk can think of no hope, outside of one man. A man with a dream... and a ...

Posted: Jan. 19, 2015


In the darkness of the arctic sea, it waited.
For years, it has shadowed the shore.
Now, a fishing expedition to the great white North will prove to be the greatest challenge for a group of friends,...

Posted: Dec. 15, 2014

Ghost Circumstance

From the depths of the popular science-fiction network's reality show department, comes the tale of a team of bold, intrepid paranormal investigators who stopped giving a shit long, long ago.


Posted: Nov. 14, 2014

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