Quote of the moment:
A man, a van, a canal: Wombstretcha.
It's kind of like a horoscope. It's also not at all like a horoscope. Pick your favorite hot sauce, or one that's adjacent to it, since there's no way I could fit every hot sauce onto this chart. These are the some of the most popular hot sauces in the USA, so they're representative of the greater body of available sauces.
No, salsa doesn't count, no matter how spicy it is.
*Yes, I know the last one I did was also about hot sauce. What can I say? It's a spicy time of the year.