Bludgeontry
So, with all the alt-school models floating around these days, I figured there needs to be one centered around a more thrashing-oriented structure that encourages kids to learn as fast as their tolerance for pain allows.
The beat-until-educated approach has been critically acclaimed worldwide, and gets near-immediate results. Welcome to Bludegontry, the world's foremost pain-based academy.
"Ok, Johnny, I'm going to BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT A QUAGGA IS!"
"The knowledge! It hurts!"