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So, they* asked me to write a children's book, to entertain the youngsters at dentists' offices the world over.

I decided to take the approach of explaining real-world intricacies in terms kids can... (Click to see more)

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I got a request from an associate to add Kramer's (from "Seinfeld") hair onto Professor X (Patrick Stewart) in this still from the X-Mans movie.

I think I did ok, and since it was laying around, I ... (Click to see more)

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In the interest of clarity, I've been working with the good people at Preparation Headquarters to make those labels less ambiguous.

I think I did a good job. At least, I hope I did, because the new... (Click to see more)

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I made a series of images based on those cartoon bears that sell toilet paper. Man, those bears sure like to shit, in fact, they LOVE TO SHIT! Click to see how much.... (Click to see more)

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From the depths of the 1950s, comes a movie that thrilled and chilled the audiences of the day!

From the depths of space or some shit, comes THE CREEPING PENIS: a hulking, green phallus whose missi... (Click to see more)

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Yeah, I get in trouble sometimes when I underestimate the ability of frozen pizza products to keep their seemingly fantastic promises.

I should have learned from my debacle with Bagel Bites. Yeah, ... (Click to see more)

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MC Hammer's tribute to Shaq. You see, back in the mid-90s, Hammer's star was fading, but Shaq was on the rise, and has yet to ever slow down. So, being the decent fellow that he was, Hammer decided to... (Click to see more)

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Anyone remember this movie? One of Connery's better recent films.

It's really a touching story, even the part with the axle grease and the butthole thumbing.... (Click to see more)

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Exposed!

JFK, like you've never seen him before. A compilation of recently-declassified documents and footage that reveal the secret life of the USA's 35th president.

It seems he was a statesman... (Click to see more)

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From the bowels of TLC's strategy department, comes this touching reality show about a half-wited guy, and a woman with a haircut that looks like a botched circumcision, who have collectively decided ... (Click to see more)