Quote of the moment:

You actually have to have the facts before you can distort them to suit your narrative, dumbass.



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This Year, Get Her...


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For a sweet Valentine's Day surprise, nothing beats the wholesome, mature character of a heaping handful of lovable, squirmy-wormy larvae!

"LARVA TODAY" magazine gives this suggestion a five-star r... (Click to see more)



Posted: Feb. 12, 2014



Doge Dinner


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Can memes sell meals? I don't know, but I tried to come up with a fast-food platter that would use everyone's favorite cheeky Internet shiba inu to sell chicken.

Would you buy a Doge Meal?

... (Click to see more)



Posted: Feb. 07, 2014



Children's Book


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So, they* asked me to write a children's book, to entertain the youngsters at dentists' offices the world over.

I decided to take the approach of explaining real-world intricacies in terms kids can... (Click to see more)



Posted: Feb. 06, 2014



X-Kramer


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I got a request from an associate to add Kramer's (from "Seinfeld") hair onto Professor X (Patrick Stewart) in this still from the X-Mans movie.

I think I did ok, and since it was laying around, I ... (Click to see more)



Posted: Jan. 30, 2014



Preparation Aitch


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In the interest of clarity, I've been working with the good people at Preparation Headquarters to make those labels less ambiguous.

I think I did a good job. At least, I hope I did, because the new... (Click to see more)



Posted: Jan. 10, 2014



GALLERY: Bears that love to SHIT!


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I made a series of images based on those cartoon bears that sell toilet paper. Man, those bears sure like to shit, in fact, they LOVE TO SHIT! Click to see how much.... (Click to see more)



Posted: Jan. 07, 2014



The Creeping Penis


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From the depths of the 1950s, comes a movie that thrilled and chilled the audiences of the day!

From the depths of space or some shit, comes THE CREEPING PENIS: a hulking, green phallus whose missi... (Click to see more)



Posted: Jan. 07, 2014



Home Pizzeria?


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Yeah, I get in trouble sometimes when I underestimate the ability of frozen pizza products to keep their seemingly fantastic promises.

I should have learned from my debacle with Bagel Bites. Yeah, ... (Click to see more)



Posted: Dec. 18, 2013



Shaq Attaq


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MC Hammer's tribute to Shaq. You see, back in the mid-90s, Hammer's star was fading, but Shaq was on the rise, and has yet to ever slow down. So, being the decent fellow that he was, Hammer decided to... (Click to see more)



Posted: Dec. 16, 2013



Fondling Forrester


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Anyone remember this movie? One of Connery's better recent films.

It's really a touching story, even the part with the axle grease and the butthole thumbing.... (Click to see more)



Posted: Dec. 05, 2013



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